I can't say that I'm empty, because God is using this time to fill us with hope, patience, and anticipation. However, I do not have an embryo growing inside of me.

We're inbetween the stage of getting our plumbing checked and just sitting back for a few more months until we hit a full year of attempts.

I'm getting tired of seeing pregnant teens on TV that are surprised that sex makes babies. I'm tired of seeing TLC overrun with weddings and quintuplets. I'm tired of everyone else getting pregnant (with baby girls) except for us. It's a lonely feeling when you're trying to create and you can't yet. I want to know why we aren't pregnant yet. I want to know why God is creating more waiting time for us. Have we not learned enough about each other? Have we not prayed enough? Do we not want it enough? Have we not waited long enough? What is it?

Every month we are more and more driven, but it leads to bigger disapointment when the test only reveals one line instead of two. We want to have a baby. We want to start a family. We want to create something that is a part of me and a part of Jonathan. When?


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