We went back into the room with the diaper re-attached and bundled her in a handmade blanket from her Grandma. And we waited. And waited. And waited for the longest 10 minutes of my life.
Doc came in and didn't seem concerned until he looked at the chart. He verbalized his surprise at her weight but he was glad to see her height grow so much. Turns out her weight is in the 50th percentile while her height is in the 75th percentile. He said he wasn't overly concerned about her weight because her height was on track. He also said that some babies just lose a lot of water weight.
He asked many questions about her eating habits. I told him she eats usually 1.5-2oz per feeding and I feed her whenever she asks for it, which can be 2-4 hours at a time and 5 hours at night; I never wake her to feed her. He said I need to start waking her for feedings every 3 hours or give her 4oz every 4-5 hours. Doc asked if I was supplementing and I let him know that she gets formula about 2-4 times a week when I can't produce enough. He said I should supplement at each feeding for now and come back on Friday for another weight check. And he said we should use Vitamin D supplements, which I had never heard of. He said it's one of the newer trends in pediatrics and it helps in this time of year since Winter babies don't get enough sun. He ended the appointment by saying she looked good.
As soon as he left, I started crying. I felt like a failure. I failed to feed my own child. Jonathan immediately hugged me, told me I was not a failure, and reminded me of how lucky we are to have guidance from doctors to tell us how to make our child healthy. I love Jonathan so much. I kept crying a little bit more because once I start, the hormones take over and I can't stop easily. Joanna's beautiful big blue eyes stared at me as we put her jacket over her adorable one month appointment outfit and we headed out to pay the nice ladies behind the glass windows.
I still feel a bit defeated but like Jonathan reminded me, I'm so thankful to have guidance on how to make our baby healthier.