I know you're very excited to not have a baby stretching you out, but these monthly celebrations are far too rowdy. Can you take it down a notch?
We haven't been on the best of terms lately. I took pills to try and control you, and I know that was pretty Type A of me. My bad. But c'mon, that was so long ago! We've been through so much together. The least you can do is not make me hate being a woman this week.
Your carrying case