Friday, April 27, 2012

Enjoy This Time

The most common piece of advice that good natured and well intentioned people offer is this: "Enjoy this time, it goes by so quickly."

It's not horrible advice. It's actually the inspiration for some of the greatest county songs. But when I make an effort to intentionally not take something for granted, I end up focusing on focusing.

From my senior year in high school until my junior year of college, I was on a strong antidepressant. One of the many side effects was memory loss. The best way I can explain it is that I can remember the people I spent time with but I have difficulty remembering the times I spent with those people. Photos and journaling are the best ways for me to preserve those memories. As I weened myself off of the meds, my memory loss still occurs. I continue to use diaries and photos to help me recollect.

Now that I'm a mother and have the best baby in the world, photos are the easiest go-to to track the times. I have to remind myself to try and drink in the moment as it happens instead of asking "Where's my phone! Where's the camera! QUICK!" I have to remind myself that I can write it down instead of having proof. I also have to remind myself that I don't have to be the keeper of memories because it's okay if I'm not able to recollect every nuance and facial movement.

Day by day and little by little I'm devouring this time of infanthood.  Instead of documenting, I'm actually here in the moment(s). Drinking it all in.

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