Sunday, January 9, 2011

"Everyone's done it"

It's amazing how three words can evoke anger and tears. I was having a ladies night out with some friends, one of whom is 6 mo pregnant, and we were talking about everything from frozen yogurt to bad movies. The conversation moved to her belly, which I expected given that the other three of us were not with child and never have been. She shared her fears about becoming a mother, the unexpectedness of the pregnancy, then she said she was most scared about giving birth. She talked about how she was comforted by the fact that all people have been birthed and that "everyone's done it."

No, not everyone. I haven't. I want to.

I promptly (and politely) left and spent a few moments in the car collecting myself - I wept and screamed a few F-words in frustration at the girls and to God. It was not my best moment, but I'm not going to pretend that I don't get frustrated - sometimes I lose it and forget that I have to give it to God.I drove home, cried in Jonathan's lap, and he calmly reminded me that God's the one in control not us. (I love my husband so much. Even when I'm a total nut case, he knows what to say, how to say it, and how to comfort me).

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