Things People Say

I've been amazed and amused at the things people say to me because I'm pregnant. These are some of my favorites:

• Wow! You're huge! (a co-worker who hadn't seen me in a month)
• You've really let yourself go. (Warren)
• I don't want to alarm you, but I think there is something growing inside of you. (Ryan)
• I think it's plain to see. (Jordan in response)
• You are looking radiantly maternal today. (Robby)
• You look like you're about to pop. (Someone at church when I was only 5 months pregnant)
• I know I shouldn't say this, but you're really fat right there. (my 7 year old nephew, pointing at my stomach).
• Your pudge is so cute. (Latiesha)
• She look like she on the way to the hospital. (A woman at Goodwill)
• You're doing cloth diapers? We'll see how long that lasts.
• Don't get a Bjorn, it's not good for the baby's hips / Bjorn's are the greatest invention since the toaster. 
• You should stay home so you can be there for your family/ You should go back to work so you can provide for your family. 
• Sheesh, you blimped overnight. (A friend at church)
• I didn't realize you were pregnant - you're always sitting down! (older lady at work)
• Hi.. AAWW! (a custodian in the hallway who looked at my face, looked at the bump, reached down to touch it, then walked away.
• You're like the most mellow prego I know. (Jenn)
• My labor took 36 hours; I ended up tearing and needed 4 weeks recovery. 
• My epidural wore off right before the worst part, it was awful.
• I LOVED my epidural! / Epidurals are not God's will. 
• An epidural will cause your baby to suffer long term health effects / An epidural won't hurt your baby at all.
• I hated being pregnant! / I loved being pregnant! 
• First babies usually come early. / First babies usually come late.
• You should get a doula. / You should take this class. / You should read this book. / You should watch this youtube video. / You should ignore what everyone else tells you. / You should do what your mom did. / You shouldn't do what your mom did.

And while we're kind of on the subject, I don't care who you are - ALWAYS ASK before you touch me. I don't go touching your stomach without asking so you shouldn't either. If you don't ask, you risk getting your hand either slapped or eaten.