Unsolicited Advice

Don't worry, I'm here to help.

I have one child that is almost 5 months old so I'm now able to give unsolicited advice for all of your questions. (I was actually qualified as soon as I began carrying a fetus). Not only does my experience allow me to help with potty training and discipline conundrums, but I can also help with how to deal with troubled teens and how to give "the talk".

Do you have an ailing great aunt? No problem - I'm an aunt now so I can help!

Do you need advice on your dissertation topic? I took a writing class in college - allow me!

Not sure what to do about the fading spark now that your children are all grown up? I've been married almost 5 years - I'm an expert!

That's right folks. I'm like a college freshman during their first Summer back home: I know too much for my own good and am chomping at the bit to enrich the world with my awesomeness.

Sincerely and humbly,
Every first time pregnant woman and/or parent